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God, please leave me alone!!! (and thank you Holy Spirit!)
Devotional Thought of the Day:
4 When he finished teaching, he said to Simon, “Push out into deep water and let your nets out for a catch.” 5 Simon said, “Master, we’ve been fishing hard all night and haven’t caught even a minnow. But if you say so, I’ll let out the nets.” 6 It was no sooner said than done—a huge haul of fish, straining the nets past capacity. 7 They waved to their partners in the other boat to come help them. They filled both boats, nearly swamping them with the catch. 8 Simon Peter, when he saw it, fell to his knees before Jesus. “Master, leave. I’m a sinner and can’t handle this holiness. Leave me to myself.” Luke 5:4-8 (MSG)
574 You insist on trying to walk on your own, doing your own will, guided solely by your own judgement… And you can see for yourself that the fruit of this is fruitlessness. My child, if you don’t give up your own judgement, if you are proud, if you devote yourself to “your” apostolate, you will work all night—your whole life will be one long night—and at the end of it all the dawn will find you with your nets empty. (1)
This morning I made it through my devotional time, without a thought that struck me hard. I would think I was just going through the motions, but that is a poor excuse. The reason I enjoy the time I spend in the scriptures, reading through the Book of Concord and Vatican II documents (my goal for this church year) and the writings of St Josemaria Escriva is because one of them reveals to me the presence and promises of God.
i do it so I don’t get into the practice of doing by just going through the motions.
I am in mourning this morning, and that has an effect on me, I am sure. A very good friend from one of my previous congregations passed away, and it is hitting me all to hard. I haven’t seen him in a while, maybe two years…. and I miss him a lot. This is on top of a very emotional week. Two other friends in ICU, and pouring out in sermons on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Sunday the miracle of Christ’s presence, and the desire of God to make us His holy children.
I feel a lot like Peter, as Jesus performs the miracle and fills his boat with abundance. Lord, I am tired, weary, not holy enough to be in your presence. Just leave me alone….. please…..
As I was finishing up with devotions, the very first point in The Forge, is the one quoted in brown above. I knew I had to write on it, and the event that inspired it, the scripture passage.
What I didn’t realize, even as I started writing, having copied and pasted both quotes, was how Peter’s request would affect me. It is how I feel.
Lost
Full of remorse,
Tired
Hurting.bereaved
And yet, all around me, I see miracles, stuff God is doing, there is no other explanation for what is going on….
“Leave me alone, I can’t handle this holiness Lord!” This is Peter’s cry… but it is echoing over and over in my soul.
Even as I am writing this, another passage comes to mind….
26 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. 27 He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. 28 That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. Romans 8:26-28 (MSG)
I will hang on this this today, despite my wanting to find a cave like Elijah, or the spot David can’t find in Psalm 139, a place where God isn’t. I need to know God doesn’t forsake or abandon us, He is there, a Father who keeps His promise, a Brother who gives His life for us, who bears our sorrows, and iniquities… (taking away our excuse to run because we aren’t holy) and the Holy Spirit, who brings comfort and peace, and takes our cries…and prays for what we really need……
The assurance of God’s presence, and love.
Lord Have Mercy….. and He does!
(1) Escriva, Josemaria (2011-01-31). The Forge (Kindle Locations 2137-2140). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
Seriously, Does God Take Mondays Off?
Devotional Thought of the Day:
“I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day, right up to the end of the age” Mt 28:20, MSG
341 You told me that God sometimes fills you with light for a while and sometimes does not. I reminded you, firmly, that the Lord is always infinitely good. That is why those bright days are enough to help you carry on; but the times when you see no light are good for you too, and make you more faithful.
Deep faith is seen is us, when we can’t hear or see God, yet still we instinctively recognize His presence and trust him ( I don’t remember who he was quoting CS Lewis maybe, but I remember the Bible Study where Doug Dickey taught me this )
My son yesterday bought a computer game called Minecraft, which is a bit much for a 7 year old, even one as precocious as my son. He waited for it to download (he gave me the money to buy it with my credit card, ) and took the computer over. Even as I knew he would, he immediate found himself in a situation he didn’t know how to get out of easily. After a wile helped him with it, and then, when he got in a similar one, I had to let him struggle and insisted he did, rather than just start it over.
This morning the lesson was repeated, this time with a yo-yo, which he said didn’t work. (He got it as a prize at school, and despite flashing lights, was somewhat cheap) Again, showed him it could work, gave a little advice, and then let him struggle with it. He understood this lesson this morning, and achieved his goal of bouncing the you-yo ten times. He made the connection to last night – and said – this is why you didn’t let me restart? Why I had to keep going and work it out? Yes, son, and what would happen if I fixed everything the first time you got stuck? With a smile he replied, “I wouldn’t learn to do things myself”
Smart kid! (takes after his mom)
So now I am at work, and got 6 million things to do, all the while trying to recover from 2 days of grief, grief that I couldn’t get past, as this was the first Father’s Day without my dad. I know enough to know that grief can’t just be shaken off, or ignored, Scars open, scabs rip off – and sometimes the healing in complete, and sometimes we find it hasn’t really begun. We have to trust God through it all, and let the time pass…..
The lesson to my son now comes and slams home on me. The quote in blue above slammed it home to, as I am not as quick to pick up on things as my son is. There are days everything seems to click, where God’s presence is so clear, that I feel like I could figuratively reach out and hug him. There are other days, where from my perspective, I can’t see His light as clearly, where life obscures the glory He has invited us to share in forever. Where life seems to be a “Spiritual Monday”, and while we go through Monday, maybe God took it off like some pastors do?
I mean it – where is God on Monday? And why can we have a spiritual version of Monday on a Thursday, or a Saturday, or even a Sunday?
St. Josemaria and Dr. Doug were right though, that faith is seen and grows, when we learn to recognize God’s presence, even when we think it isn’t there. When we rely on His promises rather than our perception, When we reach out in faith, and receive the blessings of mercy and peace, and love. When we call out “Lord have mercy on Us” and we find our eyes opened, or maybe just our hearts, assured and calmed by His presence.
You see, what I know is this, as my son struggled with a computer game, as he got frustrated by “spaghetti string” on his yo-yo, his dad was there, watching, knowing there was a way to fix what was going on in both situations. Yet if he had really gotten stuck beyond his ability, I would be there, rescuing him, fixing things, restoring things. Even more so has God promised to do that, even more does He perceive where we are at, and care for us.
He is there, even when we can’t see Him. His presence, His protection, His comfort, His peace, His glory……
So rest, cling to the One who promised to be our God, who promised that we would be His people… and your heart will know what your mind can’t always process.
Escriva, Josemaria (2011-01-31). Furrow (Kindle Locations 1584-1587). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
Do We See What God is Doing Now? Express YOUR awe anew! Thoughts approaching the New Year,
Devotional THought to End the Year:
1 Praise the LORD! Sing a new song to the LORD; praise him in the assembly of his faithful people! 2 Be glad, Israel, because of your Creator; rejoice, people of Zion, because of your king! 3 Praise his name with dancing; play drums and harps in praise of him. 4 The LORD takes pleasure in his people; he honors the humble with victory. 5 Let God’s people rejoice in their triumph and sing joyfully all night long. Psalm 149:1-5 (TEV)
950 We should indeed respect things that are old, and be grateful for them. Learn from them by all means, and bear in mind those past experiences, too. But let us not exaggerate; everything has its own time and place. Do we now dress in doublet and hose or wear powdered wigs on our heads? (1)
As a minister, as a servant of Christ and His church, I have had the chance to stand in awe, as I’ve observed God work. Last year, as I was in China, and saw people hungry for the gospel, as I saw pastors and church leaders hungry for training. As I visited missionaries and saw in them a hunger to be minister to, a hunger so met, that a simple worship service was fileld with tears, with incredible joy, with incredible love. I’ve seen it here at my church, as those who needed God’s comfort and peace in times that trusting in God and knowing HIs presence shuold have been challenged, were comforted and able to pray with a quiet confidence. As people approach the altar, leaving burdens dropped, and receiving in exchange, the Body and Blood of Jesus, and treasuring that joyous moment.
He is amazing, this God of ours, and we should stand in awe of His presence. A presence we should melt in, not from fear, but in awe of His love that I can only use terms like passionate, and intimate, not because of it being erotic, but because of its power and completeness.
A love that is the stuff of song, a love that creates in the musician, the artist, the poet, the wood and metal worker, the blogger, a new work as we find ways to express that awe.
Others have done this in the past, as they have used their heart and minds and hands to create masterpieces in every form, visible, audidble, tactile, They give us examples of what can be done, they can help keep us focused on Jesus.
Without such awe, Luther would have never realized what a place of rest God’s presence is, and written of Him as our Mighty Fortress. Augustine wouldn’t have penned tomes, exploring the fullness of theology. St Francis and Mother Theresa wouldn’t have found His beauty among lepers, Pascal wouldn’t have written of the fire that burns. And people like Michael Card, John Michael Talbot, Matt West and Mark Hall and Chris Gillette wouldn’t be writing music now. To express the joy that is found in knowing God’s presence here, in that awe inspiring us to worship Him.
You see, God didn’t stop inspiting people after the sixteenth century, He didn’t stop working in people’s lives after the death of the apostles, Or after the publication of any hymnal. When we cling to these things, and demand that they are the only way to properly worship God, it can be admission that we don’t see Him working today, that nothing He is doing leaves us in awe, and we create an idol out of past. We stand in awe, not of God, but of their experience, their awe. We end up like the sons of Sceva, trying to rid people of what oppresses them by incanting God because of someone else’s relationship.
Do you see what God is doing now? In your life? In the life of your family, the church, and in your community, which He longs to bring into Christ, through your love demonstrating His?
God;s presence recognized now means that people will need to express their awe, people will need to use their words, their instruments, their talents within their culture, within their time, to do so. Learning from those who’ve gone before, listening to ensure they do not stray, yes. But the people of God need to praise God for what He is doing in their lives, Lives that are claimed at the cross, year lives we lived in 2013, and soon in 2014. The Lord is with us! Rejoice! Be in absolute awe! With all you are, respond in joyous praise!
Escriva, Josemaria (2011-01-31). Furrow (Kindle Locations 3851-3854). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
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I Got Nuthin… or do I? The Hard Lesson of Trusting
Devotional Thought of the Day:
9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NLT)
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)
883 You were consoled by the idea that life is to be spent, burned in the service of God. And spending ourselves entirely for him is how we shall be freed from death, which brings us the possession of Life. (1)
I am sitting in my office – contemplating the 6 sermons I will preach in the next 7 days.
I got nothing… the words on the paper, the studies I have done in preparation, all seem limited in view of the world that seems so…broken, so darkened. So broken that even we who have been entrusted with the one thing that will bring change and hope, are too distracted, to eager to go on the offensive, whether it be about saying Merry Christmas and decorating our yards, or claiming our “rights”, or taking our stand against those who favor things we find abhorent, from child euthenasia being allowed now, to abortion, to bigamy to… name the sin, there are people defending their right to it, and those who trust in God saying tolerating that sin is the end of the world. That’s not mentioning real traumas, like bringing comfort and God’s peace to those who are missing loved ones, or seeing their relationships crumble, or dealing with financial crises.
6 sermons in 7 days? Maybe 80-100 differemt people hearing them? How will that stem the tide?
As I look at the blank word document, I got nothing… I don’t have the words…I don’t even have the idea of where to begin.
O Come, O Come Immanuel… the words echo in my mind.
Yesterday I wrote that I want to get past wanting Him to come and save us, I want to want Him to come, so that we can rejoice in His presence, that we will finally be “united” with Him, face to face, in all of His glory. I don’t just want Him to come to deliver us from the challenges of this world, of this time.
Yet maybe that is what Lent is about – looking both to what He delivers us from and what He delivers us to, from darkness to light, from sin to justice, from brokenness to glory. From loneliness to community. Maybe we have to know the evil, to recognize the incredible nature of what God is giving us, as He claims us as His children. Maybe we need to know the barrenness of a Bethlehem Stable, to know the glory of the love revealed there, and on a rugged cross, to face our need for it, so that we realize the glorious, merciful, life changing love of God who dwells with us.
In the midst of the struggles of this life…in the midst of visions of how it is supposed to be, there is a need to trust the One who is with us, sterngthening us in our weakness, as we realize His love for us… These days help that we have nuthin.. are great for strengthening that trust, that faith….
May we take the time to realize our brokenness.. so that we can recognize our healing. It is as the Psalmist wrote:
10 “Stop fighting,” he says, “and know that I am God, supreme among the nations, supreme over the world.” 11 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.Psalm 46:10-11 (TEV)
You see, somethings when we realize we got nuthin, we realize we have His presence, His love, His mercy… we have HIm!
And nothing can change that…
Lord Have Mercy on us! I pray we grow in the trust that He has…
(1) Escriva, Josemaria (2011-01-31). Furrow (Kindle Locations 3611-3612). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
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Monday and The Priorities of Work
Devotional Thought for a Monday:
23 And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. 24 We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. 25 But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.) 26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. Romans 8:23-27 (NLT)
449 Prayer, more prayer! It may seem odd to say that now when you are taking examinations and working harder… But you need prayer, and not only the habitual prayer as an exercise of devotion; you also need to pray during odd moments, to pray between times, instead of allowing your mind to wander on silly things. It does not matter if, in spite of your effort, you do not manage to concentrate and be recollected. That meditation may be of greater value than the one you made, with all ease, in the oratory. (and oratory is like a chapel or small church that is for a specific group)
450 Here is an effective custom for achieving presence of God: your first audience every day should be with Jesus Christ. (1)
It’s a Monday, and I got to the office nearly 2 hours ago. There was a situation or two (I hate to use the term emergency) that had to be dealt with, there is a call I need to make this afternoon, a friend starting checmotherapy.
I am tempted to put aside my devotional time, and my prayer time, and get craking on my studying the passage for next Sunday’s sermon. I have to have all the research done by 6:30 tonight, to share with the group of guys who study it together, to prepare to pray for another week in the pulpit. My heart sceams not to overlook this time of devotiona and prayer, for then my research will be dry, done as a matter of duty, not as a matter of loving God’s revelation to us, the revealtion of His love. I need to spend this time thinking of He and I, of laying burdens down, of spending a few moments, completely aware of God’s presence.
Yet my mind urdes me onto the tasks of the day.
I think that if this is my struggle, it must be your struggle as well. Heck I work with the word of God and forget I work in His Presence. How much more so for those of you who sit behind desks looking at paperwork or terminals, or those of you serving others in industry. Or those of you in class, or in a doctor’s office. How can you “afford” to take the time to spend a large amount of time on this? Do you neglect what you are paid for? I realize we must take time for Jesus, to revel and rest in His presence, but how when the times are so minimal?
We rely on God… we pray what we can – we lay our heart before Him and we trust in His faithfulness, in His love, in the promise of the Holy Spirit fulfilling what we are unable to come up for the words to describe. Romans tells of this, and we count on His promise, His presence, and in doing so, we might find ourselves more refreshed than when we spend great lengths of time in His presence serving Him in prayer and study. (Please do not use that as an excuse for not spending appointed times in prayer! ) But there is something special, when throughout our day, as we work at being our best,, for us to hold a running conversation with Him, to lay before Him our burdens, and our work, and to realize we do it, strengthened by God.
So make your prioirities, set your days in order… but remember the first priority that each priority is part of, to realize God’s presence with you, through every part of every day.
AMEN
Text of “Our Father” prayer with Trinity in central column (God the Father, dove of the Holy Spirit, Jesus) and Biblical and symbolic scenes in left and right columns. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
(1) Escriva, Josemaria (2011-01-31). Furrow (Kindle Locations 1998-1999). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
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What Do We Choose to Invite into our Lives?
Jesus Christ Crucifix (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Discussion/Devotion in Life
4 May you always be joyful in your union with the Lord. I say it again: rejoice! 5 Show a gentle attitude toward everyone. The Lord is coming soon. 6 Don’t worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart. 7 And God’s peace, which is far beyond human understanding, will keep your hearts and minds safe in union with Christ Jesus. 8 In conclusion, my friends, fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable. 9 Put into practice what you learned and received from me, both from my words and from my actions. And the God who gives us peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-9 (TEV)
I’m going to tell you which are man’s treasures on earth so you won’t slight them: hunger, thirst, heat, cold, pain, dishonor, poverty, loneliness, betrayal, slander, prison … (1)
As I write this blog about trauma, I am not writing about the things in the quote from St. Josemaria Escriva above, for as he says, they are treasures, and therefore, not necessarily trauma. Even as I wrote on Monday – there is trauma that so engages us in serving God, in seeing His love, that it rarely seems traumatic, or sacrificial.
There are different types of trauma can different, Some thrusts itself in, and those things – including the list above are traumatic – but can be blessings because in overwhelming us, they drive us into our Father in Heaven’s presence….. we have no choice, we simply must turn to God to be able to cope, to be able to breath… the be able to survive.
But invited trauma is when we ignore the Bible passage’s admonition and encouragement. When we look for division, when we spend less time looking to God and choose to embrace things that make us anxious, worrying about things far out of our control. When we look away from peace,. When we don’t fill our mind with those things that are good and deserve praise, but focus on that which are evil and need to be avoided. This the type of trauma we willingly give a place in our lives.
I see to much of this, these days…..
I see it way to much among those who follow Christ.
We invite trauma in when worry too much about how the world is changing – to the extent that we spend so much time fighting it, or worrying about how to fight it, that we forget we’ve been sent here so the world can know Jesus love, to know Him, to know the power of His resurrection… to know His peace. We spend more time learning strategies to convince them about Christ that we pray for them, or love them. We forget it is the gates of hell than cannot restrain God’s invasion, cannot withstand His church, and the Rock on which it stands.
We invite trauma in when get to aggressive towards other believers, debating with them, rather than loving and serving them, and praying for them. As if somehow we aren’t the family of God, working in His harvest, working together, working as one.
We invite in trauma when we lack of looking to God, trusting Him, relating to Him, when we walk away from Him….to fight that which He has defeated, walking away from the peace He gives…
In choosing these things that are not Godly, we invite that trauma into our lives. We choose the discord, we choose the power plays, we choose the war…. we choose the stress…. and we don’t choose Him….
We don’t have to invite that trauma… we can look to Christ, we can see His love poured out on us, His grace, His mercy… and we can love and serve as He did….learning how much He is with us…
Lord, please have mercy on us, and draw our attention to You!
(1) Escriva, Josemaria (2010-11-02). The Way (Kindle Locations 567-568). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
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Church- our Home… where we are neveraway from Home
DEvotional thought of the Day…or was it yesterday…?
A small sanctuary, really a room that doubles as a classroom, a meeting room, a reception area, a thousand and one other things.
Not the largest group I have preached too, in fact, perhaps one of the smallest, fourteen people, with two guests, of which I was one.
Two musicians, struggling to learn to play together – very different in styling – yet the voices soared in praise of God. It was…… how do I find the words.
the word? Home.
Thousands of miles away – miles I will travel tomorrow…to once again hold my wife, to hug my son.
Yet this odd feeling of being home… in a land I can’t remember coming to…. relationships seemingly forged in 3 days?
A few hours later, I sit in a hotel room – trying to stay awake to greet my family as they wake up…. thinking about the service 5 hours ago… still somewhat in awe…
That is what being part of God’s family is like – being able to be home – to truly neverbe away from our family….for we find ourselves united in Christ Jesus. It could only be the Lord of all that could make such a time happen, only he could do that which is describable….yet undescribable.
Would we realize that every worship service is this…. incarnational, this relational, this incredible. They are… for He has promised to be there.. where He gathers, convicts, heals, blesses, reconciles, loves…grants peace.
TOo often, no matter the style, our worship can seem like work, the humdrum daily grind…. Regarding “work” a priest once wrote:
Jesus, our Lord and Model, growing up and living as one of us, reveals to us that human existence—your life—and its humdrum, ordinary business, have a meaning which is divine, which belongs to eternity. (1)
If God can take doing the dishes, or filing paperwork or baking bread and give it a divine meaning… how much more that time where He calls and gathers us together – to reveal again His love… to bless and pour out Himself….
And if moments like this… are so… transcendent… how much more will it be… when we see Home… our eternal Home?
(1)Escriva, Josemaria (2011-01-31). The Forge (Kindle Locations 2525-2526). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
Time to Go Home…& the Eucharist…
Devotional/discussion thought of the Day:
It’s been too many days away…. even though the men I am with on this retreat are fun loving guys, and there is a great sense of camaraderie among them, it is not the same as being home with my wife and son, and my congregation. I have confidence in the vicar preaching there this morning, ( as I do in the other vicar and deacon extending the ministry this morning) but there is something about being there.
I can’t wait to get home. I can’t wait to get back to my people. (and out of the range of the country western stuff I was subjected to all week)
As i long for that, I think about the Lord’s Supper, the Communion feast of God and His people, the Eucharist.
It is, more than anything, the place I know I am home. It is where we belong, very consciously aware of the presence of God, the awe found in His presence, which rips our sin, our idols, our anxieties away.
I have to admit a bit of jealousy of my Catholic brothers in ministry, who don’t wait a week in between celebrating this feast, this homecoming, this little glimpse of the joy of heaven, this peace which crushes all else.
It’s time for going home… it’s time for the family to dine, the host to bless us, even as He thanks the Father for the cross that made this feast possible.
I love how St. Josemarie Escriva put it, “As he was giving out Holy Communion that priest felt like shouting out: this is Happiness I am giving to you!” (1)
This is the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, happy are those who are called to His Supper,
Lord, we are not worthy to receive, but only say the words……and we are healed….
For we are home, with God.
(1)Escriva, Josemaria (2011-01-31). The Forge (Kindle Locations 1105-1106). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
