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It’s Monday, and I Don’t Want to Be a Holy or a Hypocrite, so ….
Devotional thought of the day:
4 “Israel, remember this! The LORD—and the LORD alone—is our God. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:4-5 (TEV)
1 So then, my friends, because of God’s great mercy to us I appeal to you: Offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to his service and pleasing to him. This is the true worship that you should offer. 2 Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect. Romans 12:1-2 (TEV)
485 At times, someone has told me: “Father, I feel tired and cold; when I pray or fulfil some other norm of piety, I seem to be acting out a farce…” To that friend, and to you, if you are in the same boat, I answer: A farce?—What an excellent thing, my child! Act out that farce! The Lord is your audience—the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The Blessed Trinity is contemplating us in those moments when we are “acting out a farce”. Acting like that in front of God, out of love, in order to please him, when our whole life goes against the grain: how splendid, to be God’s juggler! How marvellous it is to play one’s part for Love, with sacrifice, without any personal satisfaction, just in order to please Our Lord! That indeed is to live for Love. (1)
It is Monday, the day after a long work day. Church was phenomenal, but then a meeting at another church drained me, and knowing that this week is booked absolutely full, I started on my research for this week’s sermons. One of my best friends I woke up early to pray with, as he faces surgery, and I am concerned for several others facing trials. I also have some pounding going on above me, and other issues of frustration.
It’s monday, and my devotional time is dragging. Let me be honest, I am to tired emotionally, I am to anxiety laden, I am overwhelmed and I don’t really feel like writing this blog, or spending time in prayer, or doing my devotional reading. (which happened to be on confession and absolution…. gee thanks God!) I don’t really feel like being holy today. I don’t want to just go through the motions either, and pray, and read and worship. If I don’t feel like being holy, setting apart my time and my life to God, I really don’t want to just fake it.
Maybe I should skip it my devotional time. After all, it’s only one day. I’ll be in a better mood on Wednesday, or maybe Friday. My blog hasn’t been read much anyways (writing this is part of my discipline ), and I’ve got a ton of work to do. Three extra services, picking up some of the work my friend would do, people recovering that I need to visit. I could so easily justify skipping this once….
Then of course, as I drag through my devotions, I found the above quote from St Josemaria. Tell you something – sometimes I really dislike how much a Catholic Saint who died nearly 40 years ago knows me. I feel like a farce, a fraud a hypocrite, even as I highlight things in my reading, and the meditative thoughts the word of God kicks into motion. I warm to some of it – but Leviticus? Really? And the part about worship was awesome, but the paragraph upon paragraph that drudged on through the book of concord…. sigh
Escriva notes that there is an option between doing this enthusiastically, and doing it as a hypocrite. It is doing it, admitting the struggle, but knowing the love and mercy of God the Father that will become more and more apparent. Being a living sacrifice is an act of love, even when I am not sure why I keep going. To strive to keep interested, to strive to see how Christ is revealed, to wait and the blessing He has for us.
To adore Him enough to trust Him that this time together will be cleansing, refreshing, empowering, but most of all peace-filled, glorious rest in His presence. To drink deeply of His love.
it is in the dead times, even perhaps more than the rebellious times, that I need to offer myself to God and keep moving with Him. That I need to realize His presence, His promises, His comfort. The kind of things that are apparent in His word, that the saints who’ve gone before us lived and died to pass down to.
It is such time when saints are made…. and sustained.
So cry out Lord, I trust you, help me to trust you!
And know His answer… come, follow me.
Escriva, Josemaria (2011-01-31). The Forge (Kindle Locations 1858-1866). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
I Got Nuthin… or do I? The Hard Lesson of Trusting
Devotional Thought of the Day:
9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NLT)
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)
883 You were consoled by the idea that life is to be spent, burned in the service of God. And spending ourselves entirely for him is how we shall be freed from death, which brings us the possession of Life. (1)
I am sitting in my office – contemplating the 6 sermons I will preach in the next 7 days.
I got nothing… the words on the paper, the studies I have done in preparation, all seem limited in view of the world that seems so…broken, so darkened. So broken that even we who have been entrusted with the one thing that will bring change and hope, are too distracted, to eager to go on the offensive, whether it be about saying Merry Christmas and decorating our yards, or claiming our “rights”, or taking our stand against those who favor things we find abhorent, from child euthenasia being allowed now, to abortion, to bigamy to… name the sin, there are people defending their right to it, and those who trust in God saying tolerating that sin is the end of the world. That’s not mentioning real traumas, like bringing comfort and God’s peace to those who are missing loved ones, or seeing their relationships crumble, or dealing with financial crises.
6 sermons in 7 days? Maybe 80-100 differemt people hearing them? How will that stem the tide?
As I look at the blank word document, I got nothing… I don’t have the words…I don’t even have the idea of where to begin.
O Come, O Come Immanuel… the words echo in my mind.
Yesterday I wrote that I want to get past wanting Him to come and save us, I want to want Him to come, so that we can rejoice in His presence, that we will finally be “united” with Him, face to face, in all of His glory. I don’t just want Him to come to deliver us from the challenges of this world, of this time.
Yet maybe that is what Lent is about – looking both to what He delivers us from and what He delivers us to, from darkness to light, from sin to justice, from brokenness to glory. From loneliness to community. Maybe we have to know the evil, to recognize the incredible nature of what God is giving us, as He claims us as His children. Maybe we need to know the barrenness of a Bethlehem Stable, to know the glory of the love revealed there, and on a rugged cross, to face our need for it, so that we realize the glorious, merciful, life changing love of God who dwells with us.
In the midst of the struggles of this life…in the midst of visions of how it is supposed to be, there is a need to trust the One who is with us, sterngthening us in our weakness, as we realize His love for us… These days help that we have nuthin.. are great for strengthening that trust, that faith….
May we take the time to realize our brokenness.. so that we can recognize our healing. It is as the Psalmist wrote:
10 “Stop fighting,” he says, “and know that I am God, supreme among the nations, supreme over the world.” 11 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.Psalm 46:10-11 (TEV)
You see, somethings when we realize we got nuthin, we realize we have His presence, His love, His mercy… we have HIm!
And nothing can change that…
Lord Have Mercy on us! I pray we grow in the trust that He has…
(1) Escriva, Josemaria (2011-01-31). Furrow (Kindle Locations 3611-3612). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
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Having a Crisis of Faith? Come Join us!
Devotional Thought of the Day:
22 So let us come near to God with a sincere heart and a sure faith, with hearts that have been purified from a guilty conscience and with bodies washed with clean water. 23 Let us hold on firmly to the hope we profess, because we can trust God to keep his promise. 24 Let us be concerned for one another, to help one another to show love and to do good. 25 Let us not give up the habit of meeting together, as some are doing. Instead, let us encourage one another all the more, since you see that the Day of the Lord is coming nearer. Hebrews 10:22-25 (TEV)
324 The dust thrown up by your fall blinds and disorients you, and you have thoughts which rob you of your peace. Have you sought relief in tears by the side of Our Lord, and in confident conversation with a brother? (1)
If a pastor or priest or even lay ministers are honest, they will admit (but not often) that they have what some call a “crisis of faith” occaisonally. We aren’t perfect, and its my opinion that our people must know this. Simply put, if we are hoenst about this, then they will be as well, and we will be able to minister to them in spirit and in truth.
A crisis of faith isn’t that we don’t believe in God, but that we simply struggle to believe in God.
It may be that the trauma in our own lives is too much, or that the trauma we help others go through has taken its toll as well. It could be our sin, or temptation, which finds a spot in our weakened state and steps on through. Despising our own weakness, we try to overcome it on our own, rather than deal with it at the foot of the cross. Or it can simply be that we have fallen into a rote faith – we go through the motions, numbed by time to the words, and the God whom they reveal.
Either way, it is as our spiriutal life has become paralyzed.
There is a need in such times for each of us to have what they now call a “spiritual director”, or what I prefer to call a “father-confessor”. Someone who is able to speak for God to us, someone who will shepherd us and guide us, and help us until the fog clears. Someone who can share God’s love because they’ve known it during their own crisis, their own brokeness. (which is why I think we have to let people know we go through such times ourselves) They are the ones that can find us, and have our permission to find us, in our caves, when we choose to isolate ourselves.
We need those times, when we can hear the still small voice of God comforting us. Even so, we can’t, especially in those times, avoid gathering with others, sincere in our brokenness, yet needing the encouragement that comes from realizing we are not alone. We need to hear of God’s faithfulness, and to celebrate it together. This too is essential, a major part of our Christian life. For when we realize that God doesn’t give up on any of us, we begin to realize that His promise of being faithful includes us. The illusion is then pierced, and we realize the crisis of faith isn’t a crisis of trust, or us being abandoned by God.
It’s simply that we are tired and overwhelmed and… well yes broken.
We say at my church that we are a place where broken people find healing in Christ, while helping others heal.
The cure for such times, is not to avoid the people of God, fearing they will not understand, it is to come and be embraced by them, to join them at the altar and receive the grace of God as we receive the Body and Blood of Christ (yes – during a crisis of faith – communion, the eucharist is a blessing.. a very needed blessing!) For we all have had, and maybe even having a a crisis of faith, and the church, the people of God provides a great sanctuary during such times. Let’s lift each other up, as God calls us together, a people He will care for, a people He will comfort.
And that starts with us, those who lead in church… those who are broken, so that you may have faith, for if God can heal us… He can (and will ) bring healing to your crisis.
For the Lord will have mercy!
I know – received it over and over. You can too.
(1) Escriva, Josemaria (2011-01-31). Furrow (Kindle Locations 1529-1531). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
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Doesn’t God Care I am Tired?
My devotional thoughts for today…
27 Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, “GOD has lost track of me. He doesn’t care what happens to me”? 28 Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening? GOD doesn’t come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. 29 He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. 30 For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. 31 But those who wait upon GOD get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind. Isaiah 40:27-31 (MSG)
You ask me, “Why that wooden cross?” And I quote from a letter: “As I raise my eyes from the microscope, my sight comes to rest on the cross—black and empty. That cross without a corpus is a symbol; it has a meaning others won’t see. And I, tired out and on the point of abandoning my work, once again bring my eyes close to the lens and continue. For that lonely cross is calling for a pair of shoulders to bear it.” (1)
It’s going to be another long day, I will probably be “working” late into the evening. The emotional roller coaster that hit top speed last Wednesday continues, and the work is piling up.
I know some of the people I am working with are far more challenged, far more weary, far more exhausted, and their burdens I struggle to turn over to God, (even though I know He has them already… I feel a need to help)
But there are days where I echo thoughts I know are said by those around me, as they question God. There are times where even as we pray, we wonder if He is listening. We leave Him, as He has asked – our burdens, but we anxiously wonder if they will be picked up. How are we to leave those burdens, those anxieties behind? How are we to keep moving, when it seems like we have no energy left? How are we to stop our complaining, our critiquing, our whining? They are the outbursts of people that are tired and weary>
As I read Escriva’s simple words, they simplify the problem, and identify what I know. Our work is our cross, our times of toil and tears is ours to bear. Even as I desire to abandon it, even as I desire to call ir a day, I know that I can keep going, I know that God’s work isn’t as heavy as I complain about, as I whine about. When I do, I am missing out on something, and I admit I miss out to often. The challenge isn’t the work after all, it is realizing what Isaiah says.
Do I know God is with me?
Do I realize His promises to sustain me?
Do I realize I do not bear this cross alone, but it is the Paraclete, the Holy Spirit, who is strengthening me? Do I know His compassion?
The Holy Family with God the Father and the Holy Spirit (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
We need to realize that in those burdens, in these crosses we take up, we find fellowship, we find communion with God. We find out He is here, that we aren’t alone. The burden doesn’t weigh as much. When we realize this the burden does fade, the sweat and tears are replaced with peace, and His strength – always there, becomes known, and we begin to rejoice.
In truth, it has nothing to do with our age, our strength, the size of the burden, what causes us to take it up, is knowing Him, being with Him.
Does God care I am tired? Yes.. which is why He is here….lifting me up with His presence.
We need to listen when we cry, “Lord have mercy!” For then we can hear the answer!
(1) Escriva, Josemaria (2010-11-02). The Way (Kindle Locations 735-738). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
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When Darkness Hides God’s Face…and all hope
Devotional/Discussion Thought of the Day:
1 My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? I have cried desperately for help, but still it does not come. 2 During the day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer; I call at night, but get no rest. Psalm 22:1-2 (TEV)
“When darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on His unchanging grace. In every high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His blood, Support me in the whelming flood. When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my Hope and Stay. ” (1)
There are days when I could be easily convinced that our present time is more oppressed than any other time in history. The traumas and tragedies just seem to keep coming, the days and week just seem to bring more people, dealing with more pain. It doesn’t matter whether the trauma is natural (i.e. getting older, physical or mental illness) or self-inflicted, or the oppression caused by another. (the latter two relate to the damage of sin and narcissism/self idolatry) The trauma exists, the pain is real, the tears and groans all too.. overwhelming.
If I look at the hymns of the past – whether the Psalms in Old Testament times such as Psalm 22, or hymns across the ages, I find the same weariness, the same brokenness, the same tears, the same despair.
And the same answer.
A God whom those who cry out to in despair, find themselves worshipping, praising, adoring, as they find rest, peace, and yes healing in God. I am not saying these battles are easy, or quick, for they never area. But the darkness that seems to hide God’s face, the overwhelming flood that seeks to destroy us, will not stand against God. It can’t, anymore than the gates of hell can hold against Christ’s incarnation. Even though there are days where it may feel like we cannot go on, it is God’s love that will sustain us.
For God has not hid himself, He always will be there, for He promised to, and His presence will sustain us.
The Psalm quoted above finds the one who questioned God’s presence finding resolution and finding God’s presence. Here is where the Psalm ends:
22 I will tell my people what you have done; I will praise you in their assembly: 23 “Praise him, you servants of the LORD! Honor him, you descendants of Jacob! Worship him, you people of Israel! 24 He does not neglect the poor or ignore their suffering; he does not turn away from them, but answers when they call for help.” 25 In the full assembly I will praise you for what you have done; in the presence of those who worship you I will offer the sacrifices I promised. 26 The poor will eat as much as they want; those who come to the LORD will praise him. May they prosper forever! 27 All nations will remember the LORD. From every part of the world they will turn to him; all races will worship him. 28 The LORD is king, and he rules the nations. 29 All proud people will bow down to him; all mortals will bow down before him. 30 Future generations will serve him; they will speak of the Lord to the coming generation. 31 People not yet born will be told: “The Lord saved his people.” Psalm 22:22-31 (TEV)
Likewise – rejoicing in the work of Christ, the hymn resolves,
When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found,
Clothed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne!
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
May you find His faithfulness, His righteousness, His peace sustaining you this morning.. for it is there – and it always has been.
God’s peace is yours – because He has born our sorrows, our griefs, our sins, as He walks with us. For that is how Jesus, who was crucified for you, ministers to you as you journey with Him.
English: Icon of Jesus Christ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Even on Mondays.
(1) 2nd and 3rd verses of “On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand”
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Bored or Tired at Work? The Answer is not finding something new, but…
Devotional Thought/Discussion Thought of the Day:
“Look, I am with you always, yes, until the end of time” Mt. 28:20 (NAB)
19 Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and who was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourselves but to God; 20 he bought you for a price. So use your bodies for God’s glory. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (TEV)
“Work with cheerfulness, with peace, with presence of God. In this way you will also do your task with common sense. You will carry it through to the end. Though tiredness is beating you down, you will finish it off well; and your works will be pleasing to God.” (1)
It doesn’t matter the job that we have, there are times where it can zap the life out of you. Sometimes it is because it is too routine, and the same old tasks begin to bore us and tire us and drain all our energy from us. Sometimes it is because our work is hard, our days are too long, and we become exhausted. ( I love the study that says we get more work done working 55 hours a week than 70 – well I love to think about it – even as I probably prove it all too accurate.)
As I enter my second week of work since returning from the mission field, I know I am going to be exhausted by the end of this week – and some of my normal routine will suffer. So as I am doing devotions today, I read the above quote by St. Josemaria – a man whose life makes mine seem sedate and peace-filled.
His words resonate with some recent experience, my mission trip in China where tiredness was itself overwhelmed by my awareness of God’s presence. Of course He is with us everywhere, in every moment of our lives, because of His work in calling us to faith, in the work of God in our baptisms, as we are united to Christ’s death and resurrection, and the Holy Spirit is given residence in our lives.
But, when we get tired, and when we get bored, do we remember this? Or do we take the presence of God in our lives, and reduce it to some abstract, unconnected point of doctrine, some bit of trivial knowledge.
My friends, the ancient greeting of the church, “The Lord is with you”, must take root in our lives, it is the essential truth that makes a difference – that God has invested Himself in us, in His people, in our lives.
As we realize this, what happens is seen above, our lives become more focused, our vocations are lived out more completely. Not because of our diligence, not because of our… goodness. But because the presence of God changes what we do into something shared with Him.
Walk with God… revel in His mercy, His love, His will to restore us, to cleanse us, to be His people, and He, our Lord, our God, our Dad.
So bored at work? exhausted by the daily grind?
Pray, and realize you dwell in the presence of God.
(1)Escriva, Josemaria (2011-01-31). The Forge (Kindle Locations 2691-2693). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
Overcoming “Whenyoudon’twantto-itis”
Devotional/Discussion thought of the day:
I think I heard it 15 times yesterday…..
First from my five year old – who didn’t wnt to get out of bed….
Then as the day progressed, it seemed everyone was tired, and would rather have spent the morning, if not the day, just relaxing, napping, ignoring the world around them, and just having some “personal time.”
Me too!
I can look from the outside and see that the causes, trying to get back into the swing of things after our kids have been on vacation break, having finally begun to “let down” after the holidays, (rest? really? when?) I can also see the impact of our attitudes on our work – it becomes a little harder to be motivated, we work a little slower, we don’t do as complete a job. In truth, we would rather be resting, playing, just not… back in the swing of things…
Eventually we will get back to speed, eventually our attitudes should improve, but the longer we tolerate our rest…the more we lose out on, the less we see God working thourgh us, the more we become content with our half-heartedness. Is there a way to pass this phase quicker, to desire not to go back to bed- but to greet the day and move on?
I know o only one way – to anticipate who we will spend the day with, to realize that we are going to get to see God at work today, as He works on us, working in us, wortking through us. That we work on Holy Ground, not because of a burning bush, or an ark of the covenant, but because we work with God, He never leaves us on our own. He is there, bringing His mercy and peace and love. Knowing that drowns our lack of desire- and replaces it with anticipation. Realizing that we died in Christ to sin, leaves us rejocing that there is no condemnation for e are in Jesus, we can find ourselves with confidence drawn into His presence., we can rejoice knowing all things will work for good, and so we find our work changing, from being toil to being time with Him….
It’s the only way I can struggle with the wanting to go back to bed…. for I know God has some things in mind today….that will drive me into His presence, remind me that not only can I depend on Him – He desires me to…..
May we all cry for mercy, even as we look forward to walking in His presence, with anticipation. AMEN
Overcoming Monday -itis
“Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit; and you will find rest. 30 For the yoke I will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (TEV)
When you find yourself tired and exhausted, approach Our Lord confidently, as that good friend of ours did, and say: “Jesus, see what you can do about it. Even before I begin to fight, I am already tired.” He will give you his strength. (1)
It’s Monday morning and I am sitting in the office after a very tiring weekend. I am looking at 2 back-breaking days of work, then going on a retreat where I am still “pastor”.
To be honest, all I want to do is crawl back into bed, relax, and rest and know that He is God. Gladly let Him rule the universe today, I just want to go back to sleep! (oh wait – ruling the universe includes me… drats!)
There is little difference between the words of Jesus, and the words of St. Josemarie Escriva. Indeed, the passage in Matthew came to mind as I closed my devotions this morning with a few similar quotes on pessimism from the book “The Forge” There is a reason I posted them both, one – to show Jesus commanding us, asking us, to depend on Him, to call upon Him, not just for the forgiveness of sins, but for the strength to endure, even to endure Mondays. We need to know that Christianity is more about Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights, not because we have to be holy all that time (which would be nice) but because God is with us, all that time.
Which is why I put the quote from the Forge. Having read about the challenges and endurance of a priest caught between wars, challenged by those who valued the system more than the ones it was created to serve, who served sacrificially and diligently and to the point of exhaustion, that it is encouraging to hear him advise us to ask God for the help GOd promised. My theory is that we are encouraged by the priest to do this, because it is where he found the strength to do what he did. To do the work of the gospel, to encourage and train and shepherd people, and to train shepherds, he needed a strength that would empower him through the midst of the tiredness, the exhaustion.
If he experienced the yoke being easy, the burden being light, as he walked with Jesus, if he pointed to those who’ve gone before doing the same thing, if I can think of people in my own generation who walk with Christ – and find the strength to get it done, I know Jesus will be faithful and get me through this day… and the dreaded tuesday.
Jesus commits Himself to fulfill this promise in Matthew. History and so many saints have testified to Him keeping His promise, in situations more grave than a Monday. To make that burden easy, to make our work light. Maybe your exhausted, mentally, physically, spiritually. You’ve got a case of Monday-itis. and you’ve got it so bad.. that you don’t even have the strength to feel guilty about it. Realize God is with you, empowering you, and lean on Him rather than trying to do it yourself. Enjoy His presence, and the work… it will get done.
Cry out, “Lord have Mercy”, and know His is with you….even on Monday
(1)Escriva, Josemaria (2011-01-31). The Forge (Kindle Locations 1029-1031). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.
