Thoughts which carry this broken pastor to Jesus and the Cross:

“‘Tell Joseph this: Please forgive the sin of your brothers and the wrong they did when they treated you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sin of the servants of the God of your father.” When this message was reported to him, Joseph wept.Then his brothers also came and threw themselves down before him; they said, “Here we are; we are your slaves.”” (Genesis 50:17–18, NET)

“But if the servant should declare, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free,’ then his master must bring him to the judges, and he will bring him to the door or the doorposts, and his master will pierce his ear with an awl, and he shall serve him forever.” (Exodus 21:5–6, NET)

At the outset, to be mystical the liturgy must be enthralling, and this is less comfortable than we think. To enthrall means to make a person a thrall: to put someone into bondage, to reduce someone to the condition of a captive, to enslave, to subjugate and make subservient.

Once, when the brothers asked him whether he was pleased that the learned men, who, by that time, had been received into the Order, were devoting themselves to the study of Sacred Scripture, he replied: “I am indeed pleased, as long as, after the example of Christ, of whom we read that he prayed more than he read, they do not neglect zeal for prayer; and, as long as they study, not to know what they should say, but to practise what they have heard and, once they have put it into practice, propose it to others.

This tipping point in Ignatius’ conversion and the shift in attitude it brings is notable. All the more so in light of his prior manifest determination to conquer his sinfulness by force of his own will. His Autobiography’s terse narrative hides the magnitude of the spiritual and psychological transformation in Ignatius. The transformation is stark. Ignatius moves from managing his spiritual growth with the same swagger that he waged the Pamplona battle, and becomes a man of much greater humility, willing to be led like a boy at the hands of a schoolmaster.

It took me a moment to make Fagerberg’s connected between being enthralled and in thrall, in bondage. As a amateur wordsmith, I was a little annoyed at myself, I should have seen it, but the concept was… well enthralling. It took me captive, and even as I copied these quotes from my devotional reading some 10 hours back, I had to process it this evening.

I want the liturgy, the worship of my congregation to be enthralling, so that our walk with God proceeds from it. I want it to be captivated by it, to be addicted to the presence of God experienced there. To be enslaved to the freedom that comes as we are cleansed of our sin, as burdens are removed, as we begin to understand what it means to be the children of God.

But we are enslaved, addicted, captivated and in thrall in a very blessed way.

Far too often we see being servants of God and of His people as a negative, as something that not only requires being humble, but being humiliated, debased, neglected and even abused. We picture slaved in chains, and being whipped, as Jean Val Jean is in the opening scene of Les Mis, or as the many movies about slavery in the south, or n Africa. The kind of slavery Joseph’s brothers offered themselves and their families to enter, rather than face the wrath of Joseph–the brother they sold into slavery.

“God, I will do anything if you rescue me from…” type of slavery. (the reason btw, many of us (including Luther) entered into studying for the ministry and why we justify the “sacrifices” we make and are expected to make. A sense of slavery and sacrifice based in guilt, shame and a desire to “payback”–as if we could! We see this in Ignatius of Loyola as well, as he would confess and confess and confess, and never find the absolution he needed.

What that results in, concerns a pastor like St. Francis, who saw men enslaving themselves to an academic pursuit of theology. men who studied the word, and neglected prayer (and therefore worship that is the reaction to experiencing the love of God.) This is not the pursuit of Theology, it is the pursuit of religious philosophy. A kind of knowledge that neither enjoys and lives in faith, nor proposes that life to others.

Being enthralled, be in thrall is less like Joseph’s brothers offer and more like the slave whose ear is pierced. Who knows he is loved, who responds to that love with a desire to be in no other place, in no other relationship with His master, This is where worship is spontaneously embraced and savored. The slave’s attitude is not based in fear of wrath, or any kind of fear at all, it is made from a love that is responding to love! Itis what drives the academic to his knees in prayer, what drives the soldier to seek peace, and the pilgrim to find they are, finally at their destination.

This is what changes Luther, apparently changes Ignatius, can change our churches, can change our communities, this revealed love of our Lord, Jesus. This is the connection we find in our gatherings, as we realize the presence of the Lord, as He reveals Himself through the word and the sacrament, a love so powerful, a fellowship so full of joy and peace, so sustaining, so much a breath of heaven, that we continue to seek to serve and to introduce it to others.

Fagerberg, D. W. (2019). Liturgical Mysticism (p. 11). Emmaus Academic.

Pasquale, G., ed. (2011). Day by Day with Saint Francis: 365 Meditations (pp. 336–337). New City Press.

Watson, W. (2012). Sacred Story: An Ignatian Examen for the Third Millennium (p. 25). Sacred Story Press.