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Helping Those Who Seem to not Want Help

Thoughts which carry me to Jesus, and to the Cross

“When Jesus had finished these parables he left the place, and came into his own country. Here he taught the people in their own synagogue, till in their amazement they said, “Where does this man get this wisdom and these powers? He’s only the carpenter’s son. Isn’t Mary his mother, and aren’t James, Joseph, Simon and Judas his brothers? And aren’t all his sisters living here with us? Where did he get all this?” And they were deeply offended with him. But Jesus said to them, “No prophet goes unhonoured except in his own country and in his own home!” And he performed very few miracles there because of their lack of faith.” (Matthew 13:53–58, Phillips)

These camouflaged souls represent a special category of people who need help: those hiding their need—either consciously or unconsciously. In order to help those who don’t want help, we must recognize that some of these people will ask for help, but they will ask for it through a tangential issue.

But doesn’t a personal relationship involve more than that? A mere benefactor, however powerful, kind and thoughtful, is not the same thing as a friend. Jesus says, “I have called you friends” (John 15:15) and “Look, I am with you every minute, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20, paraphrase).

Every church has them, every form of social media abounds with them They will often put up great defenses of their views, and sometimes are out on the offense. One friend describes them as “”For those who feel the zealous fumes of righteous rebellion coursing through their lungs,” Books have been written about them- these well intentioned alligators, these people who are more worried about being perceived as right that actually seeking the righteousness of Christ. They are labelled with terms like toxic, non-compliant, They don’t get the help, the healing they need, because they are so focused on  defending their brokenness.

Others have different coping mechanisms, as they hide their hurt and pain deep within themselves. declaring all is good in their lives, and refusing, even getting offended by the offer of help.

And neither group experience of the healing, the miracle that is available to them in Jesus. Which is most regrettable, as it was when Nazareth rejected Jesus.

The question is whether our response is one based in the grief of knowing what is missing, or whether we simply wanting to correct and/or brush the dust off our feet and leave them in their brokenness. Will we see them asking for help in a very different way, and whether we will respond, or not.

This takes patience and more than a little sacrifice. It takes effort to restore these people to spiritual health, to the point where praising God is their constant focus, for they know they have been established in Christ Jesus. That is our goal, as fellow brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus, to see them healed and restored.

I love how Dallas Willard used to phrase this – to know Jesus as a friend, not just a benefactor. To know that Jesus is not just invested in your performance, but is invested in you. This is where their hope like ours, is found. Where peace is beyond comprehension, where we (all of us!) are healed of our brokenness and sin.

Learn to humbly pray for their healing, pray for your own patience, pray for the love to care for them, and to hear their call for the hope you have. AMEN!

 

 

Shelley, M. (1986). Helping those who don’t want help (Vol. 7, p. 91). Christianity Today, Inc.; Word Books.

Willard, D., & Johnson, J. (2015). Hearing God Through the Year: A 365-Day Devotional. IVP.

Stop being “anti” but be active

Discussion/Devotional thought of the day:

” 12:21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. Romans 12:21 (NLT) 

Consider this qutoe:
” The task for a Christian is to drown evil in an abundance of good. It is not a question of negative campaigns, or of being anti anything. On the contrary, we should live positively, full of optimism, with youthfulness, joy and peace. We should be understanding with everybody, with the followers of Christ and with those who abandon him, or do not know him at all. But understanding does not mean holding back, or remaining indifferent, but being active.”   Escriva, Josemaria

We live in a world of “anti’s”, or at least people tell us constantly what they are against.  The list is usually huge, and sometimes, if they think about it – inconsistent.

Often these “anti” positions are based in creating a strong defense, striking out against what is perceived to attack them, or limit them, or taking away that which they think they need.  The problem, as Escriva notes – is that to be so defined by “anti” never defines us positively.   Focusing on what we hate, or can’t tolerate, being constantly on the defensive, leaves us at the end of the day empty.

The option, some would maintain, is being passive.  That being positive means toleration, that means compromise, that means we abandon our defensive, and open ourselves to being beaten, scorned, betrayed and hurt.  Or that we allow others to force their ideas upon us, and we meekly (a word misunderstood) accept their position.  If this were true, then the cross is the ultimate form of weakness, but it isn’t. It was a choice.  It was a matter of embracing us, that we would be changed.

Such is the activity of overcoming evil with good, and overcoming hatred with love.  it’s going the extra mile with those who demand our service, simply because it gives us more time to reflect on them the love of Christ. For that is what matters, and that is what changes people.   It is deliberately choosing to serve – not in view of backing down or compromising to keep the peace – but to show the love of Christ.

It’s not easy.. no where near as easy as being “anti” and standing in a place of judgment and condemnation.  But instead finding the strength to love, to serve, to overcome.

Lord, even as You have mercy help us to reflect that mercy… and to have the strength to show it.