Thoughts which drive me to Jesus, and to the cross…

One of the men there was Caiaphas, the high priest that year. He said, “You people know nothing! 50 You don’t realize that it is better for one man to die for the people than for the whole nation to be destroyed.”
51 Caiaphas did not think of this himself. As high priest that year, he was really prophesying that Jesus would die for their nation 52 and for God’s scattered children to bring them all together and make them one.
53 That day they started planning to kill Jesus. 54 So Jesus no longer traveled openly among the people. He left there and went to a place near the desert, to a town called Ephraim and stayed there with his followers.  John 11:49-54 NCV

Let’s not deceive ourselves: in our life we will find vigor and victory and depression and defeat. This has always been true of the earthly pilgrimage of Christians, even of those we venerate on the altars. Don’t you remember Peter, Augustine, Francis? I have never liked biographies of saints which naïvely—but also with a lack of sound doctrine—present their deeds as if they had been confirmed in grace from birth. No. The true life stories of Christian heroes resemble our own experience: they fought and won; they fought and lost. And then, repentant, they returned to the fray.
We should not be surprised to find ourselves defeated relatively often, usually or even always in things of little importance which we tend to take seriously. If we love God and are humble, if we persevere relentlessly in our struggle, the defeats will never be very important. There will also be abundant victories which bring joy to God’s eyes. There is no such thing as failure if you act with a right intention, wanting to fulfill God’s will and counting always on his grace and your own nothingness.

There’s One, in feebleness extreme,
That can a helpless worm redeem;
And now I put my trust in Him,
Nor shall my trust be vain.

There is no doubt the high priest spoke for God as he prophesied about the necessity of Christ’s death. THere is also no doubt that he didn’t realize the importance and power in the words he said about the sacrifice. He would be one of those that called for and encouraged the people to cry our “Crucify Him!”

A religious leader doing something that was so evil, while at the same time speaking for God.

It boggles my mind, to consider the paradox that while Caiaphas was doing something so holy, he was contemplating evil, along with most of the priests and religious leaders. I have to think this through and realize that we haven’t changed that much these days. There are still religious leaders that are willing to sacrifice others, there are still those, who get to speak for Jesus, and do, while not living a life reflective of what they preach.

The i contemplate this the more names and faces come to mind until I am left with only one image, the one I see in the mirror every morning. Could I be a modern Caiaphas? Could I have been one of those crying out to crucify Jesus? I tell you, the gospel reading my devotions really hit me hard this morning….

for I know I have spoken for God, and yet…I struggle with sin, and I struggle with the same kind of attitude that put Jesus on the cross.

I know this is why Jesus came, and why Christ died…and yet, as Paul described in Romans 7, this is a wretched life at times.

As I read the res of the materials I used for my devotions, on sites my favorite writer/pastor priest was cited in another book, So I went to the source and saw the words of St. Josemaria above, the words about saints not being perfect either, The words of “counting always on His grace and your own nothingness ” This has to be my focus to let the sin that Chirst died to remove from my heart and soul. God did this for the saints that lived before me, and hopefully, I can help the next generation know this as well. 

Luther and Escriva both, talk about our faith, our dependence on Jesus and the promises of His redeeming us and making us His own are so critical. Sure we will fight temptations and sin and demonic forces pulling us from God, but He will pick us up, the Spirit will draw us back to the cross, to see His love ofr us, to receive His healing, That is the victory that erases the defeats, that is the hope that overwhelms the despair, that is the love of God for us….His own. AMEN!

Luther, Martin, and John Hunt. The Spiritual Songs of Martin Luther: From the German. Translated by Thomas Clark, Hamilton, Adams, and Co., 1853, p. 159.

Escrivá, Josemaría. Christ is Passing By . Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.  #76