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Thoughts which carry this broken pastor to Jesus, and to the cross.

“Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God moving about in the orchard at the breezy time of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the orchard. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”” (Genesis 3:8–9, NET)

Hurry is an unpleasant thing in itself, but also very unpleasant for whoever is around it. Some people came into my room and rushed in and rushed out and even when they were there they were not there – they were in the moment ahead or the moment behind. Some people who came in just for a moment were all there, completely in that moment.   

He did not seek nonconformity as an end in itself in the sense of the American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson’s (1803–1882) dictum that “to be a non-conformist means to be great.” The triune God is the only source of true life. It is the dogma of a triune God that grants humankind dignity and is the ultimate standard of a meaningful and fulfilled life. Such a discernment of spirit is based on the figure of Our Savior.

Without this sacrament the Gospel might be understood as one of the many religious messages in the world. Without the proclamation of the Gospel this sacrament might be understood as one of the many religious rites in the world. But the Gospel is more than a religious message and the Sacrament more than a religious ceremony. Both the Gospel and the Sacrament contain one and the same gift, forgiveness of sins—not only a message that there is forgiveness and not only a ceremony which would illustrate that message—but rather the forgiveness itself which no one can give except He who died as the Lamb of God for the sins of the world, who will come again in glory, and who is present in His Gospel and in His Sacrament.

For most of my life, i saw myself as a non-conformist, which I usually express with phrases like, “There are three types of people, those that think inside the box (and often push on opposite sides of said box), those that think outside of the box, and then there are a few like, joyfully oblivious to the existence of the box. (SOme would credit this to Neuro-divergent, or being on the spectrum–but all that came out way after my formative years)

Joyfully oblivious is the key here, every time I find the box, I tend to get disgusted by it, and by the rules that govern it. So I hurry past the box, knowing it isn’t real, and it has no power over me. And in my youth I was proud of such an attitude, and some days, still am. It can be Emerson’s mark of greatness, but it canalso be a place to hide–often from the brokenness of the world I perceive, but never from my brokenness, which is also quite devastating…

That brokenness, unchecked and untreated, leads to Ms. Linbergh’s profound statement of being there. That brokenness has often meant I am in a meeting and I truly am not. Whether that meeting is on a board, or a lecture, or church, or in my private devotions with God. (That God can still use this for good–is truly the greatest mystery and marvel in my life!)

Non-conformity (and may being a conformist without thinking why) can be the ultimate hiding in the garden from God. Especially when we are hiding our own brokenness, our own hurts, our own unforgiveness, and our sin. We think we are safe – going against the flow or going with it.

In the non-conformist’s life, many try to make us conform to standards that don’t make sense to us, and often that we see as useless, because it doesn’t give those who conform to them any peace. Or the standards don’t make sense to us, as the spectrum they are based on is linear in its construction. (Example – those that think a person must be politically left, or right…or we aren’t a good Christian)

But what the non-conformist needs is not to be forced to conform. That would wreck us that would steal the fire within us, that I believe was put there by God to balance out the world. (our “greatness?”) What we desperately need is to be transformed, not to the standards of this world, but to be transformed by the Holy Spirit, who transforms us and all the conformists into the image of Jesus.

In doing so, we realize that our meaning in life is not being apart from the world, but being united to Jesus. to finding our dignity and existence and meaning in our relationship to our loving God.

THe only way for this to happen is through the Spirit’s ministering to us through His gospel and the Sacraments. It can’t be either/or, as Sasse points out. It isn’t even a one-two punch as if the ministry of each is different. They are the same one gift, of mercy, grace, healing, forgiveness, restoration, redemption, assurance, comfort, as Christ is not just heard, but we dwell in His presence, HIs Glory, His peace, His love. Jesus doesn’t demand my presence in the box – He comes to me, and walks with me,

A presence that is so overwhelming we no longer dismiss the existence of the box, or mark and avoid it and its conflicts, but we long to see what God can do with it, knowing what He’s done with us, transforming us into the image of Christ – a little more each day.

For which I will ever praise and thank Him!

and, I hope you all, conformist and blessed non-conformist, neuro-divergent and neurotypical, will see Him, and see yourself as His! AMEN!

Anne Lindbergh, Celtic Daily Prayer, https://www.northumbriacommunity.org/offices/morning-prayer/

De Gaál, E. (2018). O Lord, I Seek Your Countenance: Explorations and Discoveries in Pope Benedict XVI’s Theology (M. Levering, Ed.; pp. 1–2). Emmaus Academic.

Sasse, H. (2001). This Is My Body: Luther’s Contention for the Real Presence in the Sacrament of the Altar (pp. 1–2). Wipf and Stock Publishers.