I Want to Run Away… (From God!)
devotional thought for these traumatic times
7 LORD, you have deceived me, and I was deceived. You are stronger than I am, and you have overpowered me. Everyone makes fun of me; they laugh at me all day long. 8 Whenever I speak, I have to cry out and shout, “Violence! Destruction!” LORD, I am ridiculed and scorned all the time because I proclaim your message. 9 But when I say, “I will forget the LORD and no longer speak in his name,” then your message is like a fire burning deep within me. I try my best to hold it in, but can no longer keep it back. Jeremiah 20:7-9 (TEV)
22 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22 (NIV)
214 Trust fully in God and have a greater desire each day never to run away from him.
There are days I want to run away from God. I have to be honest, there are days I just don’t get it, days that life hurts so much I wish I had the speed and the endurance to run from Him. When what happens in life doesn’t make sense, and there is really no one to blame….
I think Jeremiah had days like that, and probably King David (who wrote Psalm 139 in a deal of pain as well) did. Not everyone is as strong as St. Paul seemed to be.
Today is one of those days, and I expect I will feel the same way Monday evening… and for many to come. I know quite a few people are reacting the same way, which is why I dare write this, just as Jeremiah dared to write that God deceived him, tricked him, and it hurt because life just isn’t supposed to be like this.
Grief sucks, there is no doubt about it.
A man well acquainted with it, St. Josemaria, tells me not to run (convenient that was in my devotions this morning… ) He tells me not to desire to run, Jeremiah even says that if I do, God’s word, His message, the gospel, will burn a hole in me, or at least that’s what Jeremiah thought. I suppose we could even bring Jonah and Job into this, for they would say the same thing.
God will sustain us, He will help us cope with the burdens, the pain, the hurt…
And we need Him too.
The Lord is with us!
Lord, Have mercy on us!
These aren’t empty words, they are worth more to me than all the other words I type….
You need to hear them, my friends so need to hear them… I need to hear them…
So I will stay, and let them burn themselves into my heart, and soul, rather than my stomach…repeated often…
and praying for the strength to trust Him for them. Which He will provide as well.
Escriva, Josemaria. The Forge (Kindle Locations 932-934). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.