Confession of a Tired Pastor….
Devotional thought for our Day:
3 He said to me, “Israel, you are my servant; because of you, people will praise me.” 4 I said, “I have worked, but how hopeless it is! I have used up my strength, but have accomplished nothing.” Yet I can trust the LORD to defend my cause; he will reward me for what I do. 5 Before I was born, the LORD appointed me; he made me his servant to bring back his people, to bring back the scattered people of Israel. IS. 49:3-5 TEV
795 To be happy, what you need is not an easy life but a heart which is in love.
Tomorrow is the 9th anniversary of my installation as Concordia’s pastor. We’ve had some hard times here, as we closed our elementary school. And harder times, as we’ve lost many to people who were a part of our identity, those people who you can’t imagine our church without their smiles, their laughter, and their antics.
We’ve had our times of great joy as well, as children are born and baptized, as others have realized how incredible the Lord’s Supper, the Eucharist is, as prodigals have come home.
But there have been days where I have been tired, where I understand the words from Isaiah above. It is the challenge that many in ministry face when we know we are exactly where God wants us, and yet, we don’t see (in that moment) the fruit of our work. When we’ve used up all “us” and don’t see anything beneficial.
I’ve been there a time or two in the last 9 years, I’ll confess it, I’ve been tired. And as I read these words this morning, as I looked at the bulletin that someone saved from my first “official” moment here…. I felt the tiredness again. And when you are tired, your eyes close, your vision isn’t as sharp, and fail to see the beauty around you. For the moment.
My mind focused on the words of the frustrated prophet, they resonated deeply, and I failed to see the words around the passage.
Words that talked about God’s call on our lives, that our vocation, our service to Him is something from birth (see Eph. 2:10 as well) (v.1 & 5 & 7)
Words that promise He is the source of our strength (v.2 & 5)
Words that remind us our task is greater than it appears, (v.6 ) for we have the world to reach with this gospel. (Gee more work?)
But what strikes me after catching the entire context, is that miraculously, this passage isn’t describing just Isaiah’s feelings, or yours and mine. This passage is about Jesus. About his work, not just in the world, but in our lives.
There could be the temptation to give up on us, for the suffering He endured for our sake was great, and seeing the results in our lives, takes an eternal perspective. There is the hatred and dismission, not only that the world has for him, but sometimes seen in our lives, as we fight against His word and promises, as we dismiss our time with Him to do something “more productive)
And yet God continues on, loving us, even when it isn’t easy. And yet, in loving us, we find God full of joy, as He shares with those He calls His glory and the glorious acts that call and reconcile the world to Him.
I wouldn’t say the last 9 years were easy. Our church’s mission statement and motto bear that truth plainly. Concordia is the place where broken people find healing in Christ while helping others heal. But as we see God dealing with that brokenness, as we see Him working in the lives of those we love… there is a special joy and an incredible peace that can’t be explained – only experienced.
For God has called and is calling us together.
To Him be all the honor and praise. AMEN!
Escriva, Josemaria. Furrow (Kindle Locations 3290-3291). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.